Monday, March 23, 2009

Is it ever okay to covet?

I'm wrestling with some thoughts today and I'm not for sure what God is trying to reveal to me. I've recently become fairly addicted to Twitter and in that process have started following friends and acquaintances who are involved in ministry all over the nation. What is so cool is how "connected" we are and we can share the victories that God is providing. "7 Baptisms this weekend!" "Just got back from baptizing some new people!" "God is doing amazing things at (fill in the blank)." What I'm struggling with is whether or not it is okay to covet what they are experiencing. I've been at the "preaching" thing for all of 3 months now, following over 8 years of youth ministry, and I have to be honest - I'm not seeing the same "results" my friends are. I'm working my tail off - pouring myself into making sure that what is presented on a weekly basis is good, doing what I can to develop leaders, trying to improve areas that need strengthening up - but I'm not seeing the results yet.

Now, I know that God is always at work and sometimes it just takes longer to see what He is up to - believe me, I know - but it doesn't make it any easier. And I know that God could be just placing me in this season to teach me some humility and dependence on Him - but that doesn't make it any easier, either.

I think that my response has to be one of readiness - ready for the moment that God decides to open the floodgates and then to just on the wave and ride it with all the energy, enthusiasm, and fear that I can. Until that moment comes, though, I'm finding it difficult not to be jealous.

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